Gay-Okay

As I said in my previous post, this escalating debate of "Church vs. LGBT" may be, in it's own weird way, a really good thing. And I only realized that after reading about former pastor Rob Bell's interview where he sided with marriage equality. Here are his words:

"I am for marriage. I am for fidelity. I am for love, whether it's a man and woman, a woman and a woman, a man and a man. I think the ship has sailed and I think the church needs...I think this is the world we are living in and we need to affirm people where they are."

Rob Bell, author of What We Talk About When We Talk About God

I've read some articles referring to this apparent change in doctrinal stance an "evolution" in the church/society, but I think the word "evolution" is infers improvement, when what our society really does is just change. For instance, on the same page where I read this article, I linked over to another article about a teenage boy convicted of triple homicide who, in his hearing, wore a t-shirt with the word "KILLER" written on it, then against the counsel of his attorney, flipped off and insulted the parents of his victims in the courtroom. Ever heard of that happening before? Our society is changing, not evolving.

What I'm not implying is this: a man loving a man is the same as a man killing three innocent people and reveling in it. 

What I am saying is this: It is not an adequate religious/moral response to judge the values expressed in our society based on the filter statement "this is the world we're living in and we need to affirm people where they are."

Our world is a mixed bag of great innovations, horrendous actions, good intentions, unseen kindnesses, bared feelings. It is diverse, and it has the capacity to hold good and evil right against each other in the same blue and green container. Everything in it is not the same, and treating it as such would be a far more apt description of foolishness than it would be of tolerance. "Affirm people where they are." What a vague thing to say.

So yes, I disagree with Rob, but I'm not in control of what he believes and I don't need to be.

The Christian and LGBT communities have been defined through their battle by this one common ignorance: they have sought to control each other. That's why it's a "debate" and not a conversation. That's why it's a "fight" and not a disagreement. As an American, I'm confused that we're warring about this at all inside of the context of democracy. Gay marriage is in its state of acceptance/rejection by the people's vote, and do any of us ever feel any more than only partial representation by the people's vote? Personally, I've joined a line of Christian thought that wonders why the government has forced us all into this crucible in the first place, because the marriage issue is different from the disagreement issue and it has given birth to the control issue.

So how in the world is this all a good thing for anybody?

Well it's been good for the church and here's why.

Most of the growing we do in life is thrust upon us. We learn how to study by the shock of failing an exam. We learn how to raise kids by the surprise of having them (before we could read all the books about it.) The church is learning how to mesh responses that are at once Biblical, and loving, and true by stumbling through a period where "outsiders" have breached our doctrinal walls and actually demanded explanations about why we believe what we believe. We are thrust from our monologue into dialogue and we're growing because of that. Because it's important to push through this time and learn how to do it right. We're growing because it's hard, and plenty of people are willingly vocal about reminding us of this.

What a good thing that we're not going to be able to just sweep this one under the rug. That our answer has to be thought-out, not just thought-up.

^{Galatians 1:6} I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— ⁷ not that there is another one, but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the gospel of Christ. ⁸ But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed.

When I read this, I think about how Rob's words have weight for him and how mine do for me. How important the Church's response is to tough questions, and how easy it is for those answers to go fifty different directions because we're also so influenced by our feelings and personal desires.

I believe people will answer for who they have chosen to be before God. And for me to say that is not followed by a sneer for some preacher that I don't see eye-to-eye with nor a wag of the finger towards people who I'm convinced are sinning and either don't know or don't care or don't agree. It's a conviction about me. In fact it's the very thing that convinces me that I need to grow by loving the people who are very different from me, the ones I disagree with the most. And that I can be okay with "loving you" and "affirming you wherever you're at" not being the same thing.

So when I talk about putting the Christ's Gospel and Kingdom ahead of my personal agenda...

Now that's what I'm talking about.


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There is simply not room for all the disclaimers I would have liked to add to this post. So I'll just say thanks for reading. I hope it adds to the conversation and makes you think, and that you know that if you disagree, that's ok. Because you don't have to explain me to anyone. Except you, mom and dad...you have a ton of explaining to do.

What we talk about when we talk about "What We Talk About When We Talk About God"

I saw my first Nooma video by Rob Bell when I was 16 at a church camp, and since then, I feel like I have sort of grown up with him. Through college, and as a young pastor, he's been a very influential character in the shaping of my ministry, of my priorities, and of how I see God. Even before publishing his latest work: What We Talk About When We Talk About God.

Read my review for WWTAG

Just last week, while touring to promote WWTAG, Rob was interviewed by a reporter in San Francisco about his thoughts about gay marriage. The response of this ever-controversial spiritual leader was unapologetically for!

There are a lot of people saying a lot of things about all of this, so I'm not publishing this to be unique, but because of how personal my journey with Rob has been, and because even though I disagree with the man at times, I think what he has said, and all the controversy around him, and around this bigger incendiary debate: Christians vs. LGBT has been really good for me. And really good for the church.

Bell gained a lot of critics and lost a lot of followers with his last book, Love Wins, which questioned the existence of Hell. Then pretty much answered that question with the word "nope." Just more subtly. As a result, at least seven books were published in response to Love Wins. This requires Belline emphasis.

Seven.

Books.

(That I'm aware of.)

I hate to think that a lot of Christians will start WWTAG out jaded, or never read this at all because of how they felt about his last book, Love Wins. In the end, Rob's book are important chances for us to challenge our beliefs, to be critical of ourselves and our interaction with our church or our world, to know who we are and not feel obligated to explain him.

And that last thing, it's the most essential part. It's something that I had to wrestle my way to through my own dissent about Love Wins. I don't have to explain Rob.

You don't have to explain me or apologize to anyone because I say something stupid or offensive or wrong. Not even if I write it down. Not if I say it on record in an interview. But we get really upset about this stuff, right? We feel obligated to explain it all, right? I mean if not, why did everyone tar and feather Rob for writing Love Wins?

It was sad to see that happen. I watched and ached and sympathized for this guy I disagreed with as people spewed resentment and voiced displeasure against this man because they disagreed with him. I think Rob was really hurt by that. I think he should be. I think it comes out in some uncharacteristically cautious statements in WWTAG, but I'm really grateful that he went through it because in its own weird way, it was a really good thing. From it I learned this lesson: I'm in control of me. Rob is in control of Rob. You're in control of you. And that's it. 

Earlier I said Rob has influenced my priorities, not that he determined them.

For a nation without slavery, we really like exerting control over each other. And control is really the issue here. It's what gets us upset and at each other's throats. And it's how we find ourselves in this boxing match between the church and the LGBT community, which in its own weird way, may be a really good thing.

As you'll see in my next blog.