On Dr. Pepper

When I was growing up in a Christian home, Easter was less of a Christian holiday and more of a holiday-holiday. Me and my brothers got baskets with candy and stuff, and we hunted Easter eggs during the younger years. We usually dressed a little bit better for church, but nothing really made it stand out to me too dramatically in the regard of celebrating Jesus' resurrection on that day.

I have a drinking problem.

Four years ago (I have been saying five, but recently I think I finally realized I was accidentally exaggerating,) I started doing this thing called 40 Days of Water through Blood:Water Mission, a charity to bring clean water to the poor in Africa. This fast follows the timeline of Lent, and for the 40 days (Sundays are not included) before Easter, I made water my only beverage. For an addict like me, that's a real beat down, and I dread it every year. What 40Days tacks on to the Lent fast is the donation of all the money I save to people in this world without access to clean water, so what I'm doing over this period of time is effectively giving up my luxury to provide someone else's necessity.

But I wanted to share some thoughts I've got after finishing this fast on the kind of stuff that occurs to a person after 40 sugar-free days.

It's supposed to be hard.

My wife remarked to me as we were sharing about our fast at lunch yesterday how she would often think during these 40 days "I'm never doing this again." I think we were both there. I know I was the last three years I had done it! So many times I felt like I wanted to just give in. We already had a few DP's left in our fridge that I could just grab at any moment, and I constantly found myself fighting to urge to make allowances.

I can give myself a Sabbath (day off) today. I've been working really hard at this and I deserve it.

This is the hardest day I've had so far. If I just drink one, it will help me curb my appetite.

As you may have noticed, giving up a privilege for a fast can help you wrap your mind around the nature of sin in a real way. These thoughts were regular, and I had to constantly battle them and reassess what my purpose was, that I was doing this for something bigger than myself, and let myself be motivated by that. For the first time in 4 years I did my fast perfectly, with no breaks, and I'm pretty proud of that.

Giving up is important.

I've always been driven by the justice aspect of this, but more than ever I was struck this year at how crucial this gift of fasting is to God. His people used to make animal sacrifices to him, but even after Jesus fulfilled the need for all that, our life is really about making sacrifices for God. Unless you already loved your enemies and prayed for them, in which case Jesus is just telling you to do things you already wanted to do.

Sometimes we just have to give something up and realize that we didn't need that; that we didn't realize we'd been leaning on that crutch so hard. It's amazing how much a soft drink can make me realize that about my perspective on money and my job and my social standing. We do so much for ourselves that I really am not sure if we can even comprehend it without being forced to give up for a moment and remember what it's like to live without all our vices that we're so convinced aren't vices at all.

Easter is awesome.

This goes back to what I said when I started. Easter wasn't a big deal for me, and when you've formed a habit in your thinking over two decades, it's hard to change that no matter how bad I want to. But fasting and knowing that this thing I want so bad will be restored to me has been a really profound element in my mental reformation of the Resurrection of Jesus. It helps me empathize more with those ancient disciples who had to wait for Jesus to be raised (and read the story in Luke 24–they didn't know he would be!) It has helped me understand how worthy of an event this day is to lead up to it with 40 days of anticipation, of sacrifice, and of hope that today, everything is better because of Jesus.

Lent is like a parable you teach to yourself. It has helped me to understand a lot, and I'm amazed at how much revelation I always experience when it comes to an end. It's good to force yourself to pay attention to the important things once in a while. Though I'd warn you that it may be scary when it occurs to you how little you actually do it ;)

Gay-Okay

As I said in my previous post, this escalating debate of "Church vs. LGBT" may be, in it's own weird way, a really good thing. And I only realized that after reading about former pastor Rob Bell's interview where he sided with marriage equality. Here are his words:

"I am for marriage. I am for fidelity. I am for love, whether it's a man and woman, a woman and a woman, a man and a man. I think the ship has sailed and I think the church needs...I think this is the world we are living in and we need to affirm people where they are."

Rob Bell, author of What We Talk About When We Talk About God

I've read some articles referring to this apparent change in doctrinal stance an "evolution" in the church/society, but I think the word "evolution" is infers improvement, when what our society really does is just change. For instance, on the same page where I read this article, I linked over to another article about a teenage boy convicted of triple homicide who, in his hearing, wore a t-shirt with the word "KILLER" written on it, then against the counsel of his attorney, flipped off and insulted the parents of his victims in the courtroom. Ever heard of that happening before? Our society is changing, not evolving.

What I'm not implying is this: a man loving a man is the same as a man killing three innocent people and reveling in it. 

What I am saying is this: It is not an adequate religious/moral response to judge the values expressed in our society based on the filter statement "this is the world we're living in and we need to affirm people where they are."

Our world is a mixed bag of great innovations, horrendous actions, good intentions, unseen kindnesses, bared feelings. It is diverse, and it has the capacity to hold good and evil right against each other in the same blue and green container. Everything in it is not the same, and treating it as such would be a far more apt description of foolishness than it would be of tolerance. "Affirm people where they are." What a vague thing to say.

So yes, I disagree with Rob, but I'm not in control of what he believes and I don't need to be.

The Christian and LGBT communities have been defined through their battle by this one common ignorance: they have sought to control each other. That's why it's a "debate" and not a conversation. That's why it's a "fight" and not a disagreement. As an American, I'm confused that we're warring about this at all inside of the context of democracy. Gay marriage is in its state of acceptance/rejection by the people's vote, and do any of us ever feel any more than only partial representation by the people's vote? Personally, I've joined a line of Christian thought that wonders why the government has forced us all into this crucible in the first place, because the marriage issue is different from the disagreement issue and it has given birth to the control issue.

So how in the world is this all a good thing for anybody?

Well it's been good for the church and here's why.

Most of the growing we do in life is thrust upon us. We learn how to study by the shock of failing an exam. We learn how to raise kids by the surprise of having them (before we could read all the books about it.) The church is learning how to mesh responses that are at once Biblical, and loving, and true by stumbling through a period where "outsiders" have breached our doctrinal walls and actually demanded explanations about why we believe what we believe. We are thrust from our monologue into dialogue and we're growing because of that. Because it's important to push through this time and learn how to do it right. We're growing because it's hard, and plenty of people are willingly vocal about reminding us of this.

What a good thing that we're not going to be able to just sweep this one under the rug. That our answer has to be thought-out, not just thought-up.

^{Galatians 1:6} I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— ⁷ not that there is another one, but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the gospel of Christ. ⁸ But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed.

When I read this, I think about how Rob's words have weight for him and how mine do for me. How important the Church's response is to tough questions, and how easy it is for those answers to go fifty different directions because we're also so influenced by our feelings and personal desires.

I believe people will answer for who they have chosen to be before God. And for me to say that is not followed by a sneer for some preacher that I don't see eye-to-eye with nor a wag of the finger towards people who I'm convinced are sinning and either don't know or don't care or don't agree. It's a conviction about me. In fact it's the very thing that convinces me that I need to grow by loving the people who are very different from me, the ones I disagree with the most. And that I can be okay with "loving you" and "affirming you wherever you're at" not being the same thing.

So when I talk about putting the Christ's Gospel and Kingdom ahead of my personal agenda...

Now that's what I'm talking about.


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There is simply not room for all the disclaimers I would have liked to add to this post. So I'll just say thanks for reading. I hope it adds to the conversation and makes you think, and that you know that if you disagree, that's ok. Because you don't have to explain me to anyone. Except you, mom and dad...you have a ton of explaining to do.

What we talk about when we talk about "What We Talk About When We Talk About God"

I saw my first Nooma video by Rob Bell when I was 16 at a church camp, and since then, I feel like I have sort of grown up with him. Through college, and as a young pastor, he's been a very influential character in the shaping of my ministry, of my priorities, and of how I see God. Even before publishing his latest work: What We Talk About When We Talk About God.

Read my review for WWTAG

Just last week, while touring to promote WWTAG, Rob was interviewed by a reporter in San Francisco about his thoughts about gay marriage. The response of this ever-controversial spiritual leader was unapologetically for!

There are a lot of people saying a lot of things about all of this, so I'm not publishing this to be unique, but because of how personal my journey with Rob has been, and because even though I disagree with the man at times, I think what he has said, and all the controversy around him, and around this bigger incendiary debate: Christians vs. LGBT has been really good for me. And really good for the church.

Bell gained a lot of critics and lost a lot of followers with his last book, Love Wins, which questioned the existence of Hell. Then pretty much answered that question with the word "nope." Just more subtly. As a result, at least seven books were published in response to Love Wins. This requires Belline emphasis.

Seven.

Books.

(That I'm aware of.)

I hate to think that a lot of Christians will start WWTAG out jaded, or never read this at all because of how they felt about his last book, Love Wins. In the end, Rob's book are important chances for us to challenge our beliefs, to be critical of ourselves and our interaction with our church or our world, to know who we are and not feel obligated to explain him.

And that last thing, it's the most essential part. It's something that I had to wrestle my way to through my own dissent about Love Wins. I don't have to explain Rob.

You don't have to explain me or apologize to anyone because I say something stupid or offensive or wrong. Not even if I write it down. Not if I say it on record in an interview. But we get really upset about this stuff, right? We feel obligated to explain it all, right? I mean if not, why did everyone tar and feather Rob for writing Love Wins?

It was sad to see that happen. I watched and ached and sympathized for this guy I disagreed with as people spewed resentment and voiced displeasure against this man because they disagreed with him. I think Rob was really hurt by that. I think he should be. I think it comes out in some uncharacteristically cautious statements in WWTAG, but I'm really grateful that he went through it because in its own weird way, it was a really good thing. From it I learned this lesson: I'm in control of me. Rob is in control of Rob. You're in control of you. And that's it. 

Earlier I said Rob has influenced my priorities, not that he determined them.

For a nation without slavery, we really like exerting control over each other. And control is really the issue here. It's what gets us upset and at each other's throats. And it's how we find ourselves in this boxing match between the church and the LGBT community, which in its own weird way, may be a really good thing.

As you'll see in my next blog.